Written by Joanne Toh

Registered Psychologist and Clinical Registrar

You have likely heard the phrase “self-care” being thrown around a lot in recent years. Even so, many people seem to be unfamiliar with it or, even more commonly, they have an unhealthy relationship with it. So, what is self-care? One way to think of it is as the act of scheduling-in activities that nurture or nourish your wellbeing in your daily life.

Here is a brief list of self-care activities my clients have found helpful:

• Physical (e.g., going for a walk/a swim, playing table tennis/soccer)
• Emotional (e.g., listen to a podcast, reflect on things you are grateful for, journaling, seek counselling)
• Spiritual (e.g., pray, meditate, join a spiritual/religious retreat)
• Friendships (e.g., spending time with a friend, ringing a loved one)
• Dietary (e.g., making a healthy meal, mindfully enjoying a piece of chocolate)
• Nature (e.g., hiking, having a picnic in a national park, surfing, sit in the sunlight)
• Professional (e.g., attending a professional development course, scheduling in regular breaks during your workday, planning holidays)
• Beauty (e.g., use a face moisturising mask, colour your nails, visit a gym)

Self-care is meant to be something that recharges us, something that helps us take time out from our busy daily schedules and ground ourselves. Be warned, though; self-care can quickly turn toxic if we start twisting how it’s represented in our minds. Please try to avoid seeing “self-care” as another thing on our to do list to accomplish/tick off. If you find yourself saying “I should be going for a run,” or “I should make more of an effort with my friends,” you’re going to be less likely to engage in self-care, because it seems like a chore. It’s also just inaccurate. This is a version of yourself that you want to be, not that you should be. So be accurate: Tell yourself “I want to go for a run,” “I want to make more of an effort with my friends”. Then think about how you typically act when you don’t get to do something you want to do. Do you criticise yourself or feel self-compassion? Because, at least in the case of self-care, being self-compassionate seems to be the much more effective (and more accurate) method in the long-term. Being kind to yourself when you don’t engage in self-care is also part of self-care.

We can practise the above self-care activities either with others or by ourselves. We can choose self-care activities that vary in cost and time commitments. For example, sitting under a tree to enjoy the warmth of the sun for five minutes can be great for self-care (of course, please use sun-smart/sun-safe precautions). We can also schedule dinner catch-ups with friends at home, instead of visiting a restaurant. Some people find it helpful to block out time over the week to just be alone and do the things we enjoy doing by ourselves (e.g., visit an op shop, practice your karaoke dance moves).

Sometimes, we might feel that we cannot afford to take time off to engage in self-care activities, especially during busy and stressful seasons. However, this is often the time when self-care can really benefit us. Self-care can relieve stress and improve our mental health symptoms.

You may want to take a moment right now to identify what self-care activities you can realistically practise over the next week. Remember, what works for others might not be the best fit for you. We are all unique individuals, who are recharged by different things and activities.

Enjoy your self-care time!